Conflict Resolution In The Workplace

Conflict Resolution In The Workplace

IS THERE REASON TO HOPE FOR POSITIVE CHANGE?

Once upon a time, I used to think that attaining planetary peace during my life time would be an achievable goal.  However, after painstaking observation over the past three decades, since I first became involved in this work, I honestly ask myself if it is possible. 

No matter what the name of the work we engage in as practitioners of
ADR, more commonly known as Alternative Dispute Resolution, I still wonder daily about the global goal we are striving towards. 

Whether we practice, teach or model the following areas known as
mediation, conflict resolution, anti-bullying, healing racism, appreciative inquiry or any of the many names this work has come to be known by, many of us ponder the age old question, “Are we preaching to the choir?”  We ask ourselves what good the work does if it does not help all people, and yet does that mean we cease to believe in what we think is possible? 

I recall Dr. Victor Frankl, a holocaust survivor, stating in one his books, that after losing everything including his teeth and hair, the one thing which could not be taken from him were his memories and hope for the future.  And so it is with our generation.  Another important saying we have all heard is where there is no vision, the people perish.  I often think of what I learned in the class I audited on Maya culture and civilization while teaching in Belize this year; the Maya people did not disappear due to warfare, but rather because of an intensive drought where they had no water to grow their crops and thus eat.  Eventually they died out or moved elsewhere for survival.  Our destiny can be altered in the blink of an eye by the things we have no control over such as the havoc that certain weather brings.  We have all witnessed the increase of these phenomena in the past few years from tsunamis to hurricanes.   We can easily see the larger picture here if we want to and listen to the silence caused by having no answers.  Engaging in conflict resolution exercises in the work place is one way we use the silence to gain useful insights.     

What are we seeing and what thoughts are we harboring?  If the eyes we look out of choose to see the world positively, then indeed the belief is possible that what we choose to see can transform into Gandhi’s advice, “be the change you wish to see in the world.”  I tend to believe that this kind of change is more evident on local levels where we participate in certain activities that are played out with others.  I love the bumper sticker which states “Think global, act local.”  As such, we are drawn to people of like mind, yet find ourselves living and working in places where there is much need for healing.  One frightening aspect to all of the insanity being generated by local or world news is our numbness and added disbelief of what we hear or see.  Do any of us ever watch the news with the hope of seeing something good taking place?  I admit my own frustration with the daily rounds of assault by negativity and fear.  Over the years I have learned to really be present and aware of what I want to create, especially in the study of new thought and metaphysics which has been around since before the turn of the century.  Why?  Because people have always wanted something better. There have been times throughout history where people of all backgrounds, faiths and ethnicities came together to accomplish yet another goal on the ladder towards enlightenment. Since many of us work in places where we come in contact with lots of people it is no wonder that we see many companies today practicing the principles of alternative dispute resolution such as mediation in the workplace.   

More and more, for those of us who are aware, we see a ground swell taking place by and in people who believe that creating a culture of peace is possible.  This is not surprising considering it is the goal of the United Nations for this decade. What exactly does a culture of peace look like?  It spans a wide arena, from social justice and equity to economic balance and environmental safety; from psychological well being to biological balance; from a spiritual political awareness to conscious activism that heals people one by one.  

Having recently returned from a day hosted by and at the United Nations in conjunction with Rotary International, I came back more uplifted having been amongst 1300 people from all different countries.  Most of us were awarded a grant to work on service projects this year as Goodwill Ambassadors, University Professors, Cultural Ambassadors, Peace Scholars or Rotarians, whose motto is “service above self.”  It was very inspiring to hear the stories of projects succeeding all over, from Mexico to India, Africa, Belize and right here at home.  One of the projects I worked on with my local students at Galen University in San Ignacio, Belize was to help educate people about the harmful effects of garbage without properly disposing of it because many people there are too poor to pay for garbage pickup.    

Many of the above examples we take for granted, never being subjected to them.  However, after being awarded the opportunity to live and teach amongst people much poorer than myself, I came to realize how much we have in common; our desire to share in kind and supportive friendships, and make the world a better place.  This was one reason why it was hard to leave San Ignacio; it was the people and the friendships we had, be they rich or poor.  None of that made a difference, only the desire to connect and help out.  I also observed that no matter what country we are in, some basic human conflicts emerge in all workplaces, across all cultures and in all languages.  As such, I was able to provide mediation training and exercises in conflict resolution in the work place for some non profit organizations there along with a high school and at the university.   

Reflecting on the title of this article, I necessarily reflect on the work some of us are called to do.  As mediators we have been trained to allow a space to be created for people to communicate their feelings about a conflict.  Having worked in the field of domestic violence in one county for a long time, I must say how sad it was to be part of a panel in another county twenty years later and hear people still grappling with the same issues we dealt with in another location, and the confusion came from all branches, be it the judiciary, shelters, providers or court employees and their responsibilities.  It occurred to me that these problems are age old and are still with us…and may be forever.  Yet, we still hope that we can make a difference, be a positive influence and that the challenge will become much smaller.  A famous Ba’hai saying is “each one teach one.” 

Along that same venue, how many times have we observed mediations where court ordered participants are not even given the opportunity to talk to one another; rather it becomes a caucusing event between attorneys where individuals sit sequestered in a room while there attorneys deliver demands through the mediator who acts as a messenger.  In the end, there is no healing, no release of emotions with the other whom they experienced the conflict with except through their self contained tears within the safety of four walls where no one can see them save their attorney and the mediator.  There is no expression of honoring the other person’s feelings. 

As a matter of fact, many of us realize that having the parties reach an agreement is not the goal as much as the process is which allows them to hear each other’s reality, even if they disagree.  I am often involved in different venues for mediations, be they postal, corporate, school or family based.  It is interesting to note that partial or complete agreements have been negotiated after the parties consciously created the opportunity and space to listen to one another and acknowledge what was being said.    

In closing, we seem to be living in times where being mindful of others tragedies through compassion is the norm.  Are we at last starting to overcome our traumas and fears?   Such is the new world unfolding, one in which it is safe to sit with another’s pain and not have to hide or leave.  In that act lies true humility.  In order to be a good leader, we must also know when it is appropriate to follow.  I learned long ago that you cannot give to another what you yourself do not possess.  Let us look upon the work we are privileged to do as a cause for celebration where we can indeed believe that there is more than enough reason to hope for positive change as we assist each other in our upward quest towards purposefulness and meaning in creating successful, workable strategies for conflict resolution in the workplace.     

I welcome your comments, thoughts, questions, and feedback.  Here’s to the dialogue,

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